


Damaged things can be beautiful too

by Again_n_Again



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-05
Updated: 2015-11-05
Packaged: 2018-04-30 04:38:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5150540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Again_n_Again/pseuds/Again_n_Again
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based on a snippit I posted on Tumblr that got some attention:</p><p>What if Ronan dreams up…like, a dream stone or something, that changes color based on how that person feels about him.   So he just hands it to Adam, like “Hey, Man…check out this dream thing I made.”  And Adam holds it and it turns bright red in his hand.  He looks at Ronan, eyebrows raised, and is like “Is this all it does?”  And Ronan is suddenly bright red too, smiling like hell, like a riot, and Adam’s never seen Ronan look at him this way before.  So he can’t help but blush too.  And Ronan’s just like “Yeah, man.  That’s it.”  and walks away internally screaming</p>
            </blockquote>





	Damaged things can be beautiful too

**Author's Note:**

> I changed it a little though....I made Kavinsky dream the stone, because while Ronan would just LOVE to know how Adam feels about him, he tends not to be the "planner" and I think he is still afraid to make that jump, even though he so easily could. However, Kavinsky goes after what he wants no matter what, and I could see him using the stone to manipulate Ronan. But I am super Pynch forever, so the story is still mostly Adam and Ronan love trash!

 

 

Adam Parrish walked out of Aglionby on a particularly fine fall day.  He took in a deep breath through his nose.  The air smelled of slowly decomposing leaves and was crisp in a way that reminded him of clean sheets hanging on a line, and the freshly baked pumpkin bread his mother used to make.  His gut clenched uncomfortably.  He shook the thought off.  Adam just wanted to feel the moment; not let his past carry him down in the dirt.  It was always harder to get back up the further he let himself sink.  He shrugged his backpack higher on his shoulder and forced his face into a content, if not blank stare.

“YO HOMOS!”  Someone shouted from behind him, and his carefully fixed mask fell from his face.

His shoulders slumped and he had to pull the straps quickly back up again.

“FUCK OFF KAVINSKY” Ronan shouted back. 

Adam didn’t even realize Ronan had been catching up to him until he heard his voice.  Knowing that Ronan was standing between him and Kavinsky made his muscles relax a fraction.  He went to turn around, but Ronan’s hand hit his shoulder hard, pulling the strap of his book bag fully back into place and shoving him onward in the direction he was headed.  Adam allowed himself to be led. 

Ronan’s hands fell from his shoulder almost as soon as it touched him, but suddenly they were walking side by side.  It was a releaf to know that Ronan wasn’t going to try and start a fight with Kavinsky on school grounds.  He was glad that he was showing some self restraint.  Adam inwardly shuttered at the images that flashed through his head:

Ronan turning on his heels to punch Kavinsky squarely in the nose.

Skov and Prokeopenko trying to take Ronan on in retaliation.

All three boys against Ronan, which would mean Adam would have to join in and help him.  After everything Ronan had done for him, he couldn’t _not_ fight by his side.  He loathed the idea though.  Too many hits.  His life was already full of just too many fucking hits.  But he knew there was no way he’d be able to stand by and let Ronan get hurt.  That was impossible.  Adam would bet Ronan against any other student at Aglionby in a one on one fight…maybe even two on one fight….but three?  That’s where it started to get tricky. 

But Ronan just steered them away.

“Just keep walking, Parrish” Ronan growled.

Adam didn’t say anything, but when he glanced over at Ronan he could see his hands were tightly fisted, his prominent veins stretching over his knuckles.  Adam carried his gaze up Ronan’s body and saw that his shoulders and neck were tight, and his face – his eyes were blank and his mouth a tight line. 

_He wanted to fight._

Some sort of unfamiliar emotion punched Adam in the chest.  Ronan lived for this…and here it was, someone flat out gifting him the opportunity to get his aggression out, to relieve all that restless energy that Adam could always feel just buzzing under Ronan’s skin.  But he isn’t taking the bait.  Why?

Then he knew.  He didn’t want Adam to be there.  Maybe the scenario that flashed through Adam’s mind had also flashed through Ronan’s?  He was trying to keep his cool for him.

Adam smiled despite himself.  He felt lucky to have a friend who understood without having to be asked or told.  Words weren’t always Adam’s strong suit or Ronan’s for that matter.  Their friendship existed largely on sarcastic glances, brief spats, and unspoken understanding.  He was particularly grateful for the easy _friendship_ he’d formed with Ronan.  The word _friendship_ stalled in his brain.  Something about that word felt off.  He ignored it.

“YO!”  Kavinsky called again.  He was jogging up to them now.  Adam didn’t think he’d ever seen K move that fast before.  It was a slow jog really, but still.  They turned now to face him.  Adam had the absurd feeling that he should grab Ronan’s hand…to still him.  To remind him not to act rashly, but that was silly.  Adam shoved his hands in his pockets instead.

“Ladies!” Kavinsky’s smile was wide and all teeth.  He rolled back on his heels and picture of relaxed enthusiasm.  “You coming to my little shindig tonight?”

“You know, I would, but I have a lobotomy appointment that I just can’t miss.”  Ronan answered in a voice a sweet as it was chilling.

“Oh darling…boo.”  Kavinsky smiled at Ronan for a beat too long, and then very slowly dragged his gaze over to Adam.  His eyes swept over him, from toes to his eyes and then back again.  Adam felt like he was being considered for purchase.

“What about you?” He jerked his chin out, signaling that he was now talking to Adam. “Think you can break away from Mommy and Daddy tonight?  Break bedtime…just this once?”  His smile was an acid burn. 

“He’s busy.” Ronan’s voice was clipped.  And He went to turn Adam away again, but dropped his hand quickly when he saw Kavinsky catch the motion, his smile turning into something else entirely.

“Oh!  I see...  I guess it’s _Sugar Daddy_ , then.”

Adam knew this term.  It was another joke about his poverty.  How original. 

Adam just turned to walk away, calling over his shoulder.  “I have work.  You know the thing people do for money.” Ronan followed.

Kavinsky just laughed.  “I thought that’s why you had Sugar Daddy?  You’re doing it wrong then Parrish!  See you later Lynch.”

Ronan filched, and Adam noticed.

Would he see him later?  Did Ronan go to Kavinsky’s parties?  Adam had no way of knowing.  He’d never asked.  And he wouldn’t ask now.  It was none of his business.

 

After a minute of walking silently, Adam began to relax again.  To get caught up in the smells, and the sounds of the large trees that littered the school grounds.  He breathed deep, contentment filling him.  Ronan misread the action.

“Don’t let Kavinsky get to you.  He’s a fucking shithead and everyone knows it.”

“I don’t care about him.”  Adam said, and Ronan paused to search his face to see if this was the truth.  “Really.”  Adam replied.  “It’s just a nice day.”

Ronan looked into his eyes for just a moment longer and then pursed his lips and nodded in agreement.

It _was_ a nice day.

 

There was a loud grunting noise from across the quad where the school dorms were and Ronan and Adam both paused to look.  There were three boys carrying a large, antique looking dresser out of the dorms.  They struggled to get it out the door and down the final steps.

“What are they doing?”  Adam said, not really asking, but wondering out loud.

“Looks like they’re getting rid of it.  Leaving it for trash.”

That’s definitely what’s happening.

“But it looks so nice.  Real wood, and carved!  Why would someone through that out?”

Ronan shrugged “Who is that?  Jameson?  Yeah…he’s super into modern trash.  All white clean lines and shit, probably.  Have you seen his car?” Ronan shuttered comically, smiling with a charm he hardly ever let slip out. “Looks like you could buy it from IKEA!”

Adam just smiled at him, but then, looking back at the lovely piece of wood furniture being discarded without a second thought, a piece he could never afford on his own; he let out a long breath and looked down at his shoes.

“What?”  Ronan asked.

“Nothing.”  Adam walked forward.  He wasn’t going to talk about it.  He hated this feeling; it had managed to bring him low, where memories of his mother and Kavinsky’s taunts had failed.

“You want it?”  Ronan figured him out.  As usual.  “Let’s go get it.”

Adam just laughed.   “Yeah right.”

“Why not?  They’re throwing it away.”

“Yeah, well…”Adam struggled with something to say without betraying how deeply this feeling stung and shamed him.  It wasn’t that he’d never garbage picked before, but he could never bring himself to do it here, where everyone could see him.  The past year of trying to hide that part of himself would be for nothing.  Not that it ever seemed to fool anyone here anyway.  The rich must teach their babies to be able to sniff out those with less.  Or in Adam’s case, those with nothing.

“…my apartment’s already full of trash.  I don’t need anymore.”

Ronan stood there for a beat, staring at Adam’s back while walked away; his shoulders were slumped, his head ducked down a little lower than it was before.  Ronan couldn’t understand this.  He tried, but there was a shame Adam would pull over himself like a cloak and Ronan was never really sure how to rip it back off of him. 

 

Later that night, as Adam lay on his bed, reading and re-reading the same paragraph of his homework, there was a bang on his door.  He didn’t even have to ask who it was.  It was only ever one person.  “Come in Ronan.  It’s not locked.”

Ronan stomped in, but instead of sitting down, or going to use the bathroom as he usually did, he grabbed Adams coat and threw it at him.

The coat hit Adam in the face.

“What?”  He asked.

“Put it on.  We’re going out.”

Adam looked back down at his book and then at the clock.  It was 9:30 and dark, but he hadn’t really been getting any further with his studying anyway.  His mind was too distracted with other thoughts, so he slipped his arms into his coat, and went to get his shoes.

Ronan smirked, pleased that he wouldn’t, for once, have to force Adam away from his work.

Once in the car, Adam asked “Where are we going.”

“Don’t worry about it.   But, Parrish…you uh – you have health insurance right?”

“What!?”  Adam laughed.  This was so typical Ronan.

“I mean, I doubt you’ll need it.  Never mind.  Just, better safe than sorry.  That’s what I always say.”

Adam raised an eyebrow at Ronan.  “That is literally the opposite of anything that has ever come out of your mouth Lynch.  I thought you didn’t lie?”

“I didn’t say I was talking about myself.”

Adam’s thoughts went all hazy again, like there was something he should be pulling from the context here, but he was just missing it.  He just watched as Ronan pushed the BMW a little harder and made the turns like he was punishing them for being in his way.

Ronan didn’t say anything else for the rest of the drive, and Adam watched Ronan like he was a partially difficult math problem.

 

They pulled up to Aglionby and Ronan turned his headlights off as soon as they pulled into the parking lot. 

“What are we doing here Lynch?  Did you forget something in your locker, or are we committing some kind of crime?  Because if I’m going to be an accessory, I usually request 24 hour notice.”

Adam thought his joke was pretty funny, but Ronan just parked close as he could to the dorms, and climbed out, shutting his door with finesse Adam had never seen. 

_So this was a stealth mission._

Adam followed Ronan out of the car, closing his door as quietly as he could, and met Ronan by the trunk. 

“Here, grab these.”  Ronan said, trusting a couple long and heavy ropes into Adam’s chest.  He grabbed them before they could fall on the ground, and his mind raced with nerves. 

_Were they about to do something illegal?  Why did Ronan have all these ropes in his car?_

But then he saw what Ronan struggled to pull out of the small trunk of the BMW.  It was the dolly they had fooled around with a couple times before.  And then Adam knew why they were here.

“We are not stealing that dresser Lynch!”

“You’re right.  We’re not _stealing_ it.”

“Ronan…I don’t need you to...”

“God dammit Parrish, just chill, okay?  You need that dresser and it’s a fucking nice one!  You only have one tiny closet in the actual closet you call an apartment.  You complain all the time about having to store your towels and clothes and sheets all in the same place, and that’s why your uniform gets wrinkled.  I mean, no one fucking notices that shit but you, but I know you want it, so let’s just go fucking get it!”  Ronan huffed out a great, annoyed sigh.

Adam just stared at him, going for his best leveling, Ronan-ish glare.  But Ronan didn’t back down.  Didn’t flinch.  Of course not.

“It’s free.”  Ronan added, under his breath.

With a lowering of his shoulders Adam let the fight leave him.

“Fine.  Do you think we'll be able to lift it?”

“Are you kidding me?  I’ll lift that shit on my own.  You just hold the dolly.”

Ronan, in fact, could not lift it on his own.  It was solid wood and extremely heavy.  Worse than the weight, it was the size.  The dresser was not very high, but rather, long and low.  Very elegant.  It was however, higher than the reach of their arms, so it took them a while to figure out how to even attempt lifting the thing onto the dolly.

After dropping it twice, and a string of curses so profane, Adam actually blushed.  And after Ronan’s feet slipped out from under him and he hit his jaw on the top edge of the piece, they figured out how to wedge their fingers under the base, tilting it, just so, and propped it onto the dolly. 

Overall it only took about ten minutes, but the strain of it was real, and they were both sweating and breathing heavily. 

“Fuck Parrish!  God Damn, you own me!  I think I fractured my face!” 

“I don’t owe you a thing!  This was your idea, remember?”

But Adam thought that he probably did owe Ronan - a lot. 

He was glad for the darkness then, because he could feel the flush creeping from his chest up to his cheeks and ears.  Why was this happening so much lately?  He used to think it was because his nights with Ronan usually consisted of high amount of adrenaline, dangerous rides, Ronan’s filthy mouth, and just the overall excitement of their search and the connection with Cabeswater; but those excuses were starting to sound flimsy now.  By all rights, what they were doing now was relatively normal.  Just moving a dresser.  But it was because it really was Ronan’s idea, and how Ronan had remembered him complaining about his wrinkled uniform, and how he must’ve planned this, got the dolly and the ropes.  He must have been thinking about Adam for the better part of the evening. 

Then there was today.  How he held back around Kavinsky.  The casual way in which he touched him, the not so casual way in which he had wanted to touch him back. 

Adam was blushing more now.  Something was rioting in his chest…he was getting it; he was on the verge of understanding.  _Shit._  

He fell. Right off the curb. The dresser toppling off the dolly, carrying Ronan with it, and onto its side on the parking lot asphalt.

“FUUUCK ME!”  Ronan cursed from the ground.  “Walk much, Parrish?”

“I didn’t see the curb.  It’s dark.”

“Yeah, well, no shit!”

 

It took them less time to get the dresser back up on the dolly the second time around, but they were still strained from the effort.  Hearing Ronan’s heavy breathing made his Adam’s hands shake a little as they both worked to tie the dresser down.  He watched then, as Ronan skillfully attached the dolly to the back of the BMW, pleased with how competently Ronan completed the task.  _Shit._ He caught himself just staring at him, smiling.  But Ronan didn’t notice, his brows were furrowed as he focused on the task at hand. 

“This is going to be super dangerous.  Not to mention 100% illegal.”

“That’s why we’re going to go the back way.  Slow, and with the lights off.”

“Are you being serious right now?  That just makes it more illegal!” Adam scolded.

“Calm down.  If I see anyone I’ll honk.”

“Great!  Now I’m reassured.”

But he climbed into the passenger seat of Ronan’s car anyway, and let himself lean just the slightest bit towards the center of the car.  It was easy to do. 

Ronan was still all work.  He was in the zone, and Adam was finding it hard  not to be intrigued.  You could almost see the gears behind Ronan’s eyes as they turned and he worked through his intentions on how best to get this monstrosity of a dresser back to St. Agnes. 

“We’ll figure out how to get it up the stairs once we get there.  One step at a time.”  Ronan said as he slowly pulled the car away, dragging the dolly and dresser behind him.  It was the slowest Adam had ever felt the BMW more.

“Okay” he answered.  “One step at a time.”

 

 

“Yeah, there is no way we’re getting this up the stairs on our own.”

“Agreed.” Adam said, looking up the narrow stairwell in from of them.

“Leave it here, outside the office for now….I’ll leave a note and tell them I’ll be back tomorrow to move it.  They’ll be okay with it, if it’s from me.”

Adam believed him.  “Thank you.” He said.  And tried to let the words sound sincere and not at all sarcastic or bothered.

Ronan’s cheeks turned a little pink.  Or maybe he imaged it.

“Do you have paper?” Ronan asked.

“Yeah, upstairs.  Common.”

Both boys walked up the stairs like they had done a hundred times before, but tonight their legs felt weighted.  Maybe from the effort of all the moving.  Maybe something else.

Once inside, Adam turned on the lights, and walked straight to his bed to grab the notebook he’d left there.  He handed it to Ronan with a pen.

Ronan nodded.  And that’s when Adam saw it. 

“Shit!  Lynch!  Your face!”

Ronan’s eyes went wide.  “What?”

Adam’s face pinched up with worry.

“How hard did you fall?”

“I don’t know?  Is there a mark?”

Adam pulled Ronan into the bathroom and showed Ronan his face in the mirror.  Spreading out across from his jaw was a blossoming bruise.  It was a sickening mixture of purple, red, yellow, and grey.  Ronan looked at himself in the mirror.  Adam thought he looked a little proud. 

“Damn that looks cool!  Too bad it’s not from anything but me being a fucking klutz.”

Adam groaned. 

“Yeah it looks a _little_ cool.  But it also looks fucked.  What if you actually fractured your jaw?”

Ronan ran his fingers across the mark, as if to gauge its seriousness.  He hissed and flinched when he touched over a raised section of the bruise.

“Let me get some ice.” Adam rushed to the freezer and since he never could afford to buy paper towels and all two of his washcloths were dirty, he grabbed his clean Coca Cola T-shirt and wrapped the ice in that.

“I’m sorry if it drips.” He said as he handed the parcel to Ronan.

Ronan didn’t flinch again when he applied to the ice to his face, but Adam could see that he had already braced himself for the pain of it.  Ronan wouldn’t want to show weakness, even (or especially) in front of Adam.

“Not such a joke about the health insurance now huh?”  Adam said, trying to lighten the mood.

Ronan let out a clipped. “Ha.” And walked out of the bedroom to sit on the bed.

He grabbed the notepaper and pen with his other hand, and when he realized he couldn’t do both things at the same time, hold the makeshift ice pack, and write.  He placed the pack on his lap, and started to jot down the note.

Adam sat down next to him on the bed.  He reached into Ronan’s lap and grabbed the ice.

“You write, I’ll hold this.”

He placed the ice to the underside of Ronan’s jaw and Ronan shivered.  Adam could see the goose bumps rising on his skin and for a wild second he thought about pressing his lips to the skin.  Adam swallowed hard.  What was happening to him?  This was Ronan!  He remembered how he had once ached to touch Blue and was shocked to realize the feeling was the same, if not more intense. 

Ronan wrote the note in the tidiest script he had even seen him use.  It was to the point, but polite. 

Ronan set the pad down when he finished and raised his hand to take the ice pack. 

Their fingers brushed against each other and Adam felt like his heart was full of battery acid.  The feeling was so sharp, and only their hands touched.  But in the quiet night of Adam’s room, it felt different.  It felt like… _something._

He wanted to kiss him.  The realization shot through Adam like a bullet.  But it was true.  He knew it.  He looked down at Ronan’s lips.  They were so close; he would barely have to lean in at all. 

Ronan caught the glance. 

“I should go.”  He said. 

But his eyes fell in a way, which made Adam think it was the last thing he wanted to do.

Ronan pulled the ice pack away from his face, and handed it back to Adam. 

Adam set it on the bed. 

“Maybe you should see a doctor.”  It’s not really what he wanted to say, but it was still true.

Ronan just shrugged.

Adam reached over to touch the bruise.  And Ronan froze.  His fingers ghosted across Ronan’s face, and he watched as Ronan closed his eyes, only to open them a second later, looking ashamed.

Adam wanted to keep touching Ronan though.  So he asked, feigning cause.

“Does it hurt when I touch here?” Adam’s fingers grazed the underside of Ronan’s chin, the farthest reach of the purple stain.

Ronan shook his head.

“What about here?”  Adam’s fingers pulled north to the strong curve of his jaw.

Ronan shook his head again, his eyes closing again.

Adam could see where it would hurt - the swollen lump where Ronan’s Jaw met his skull, just below his ear. 

Very slowly, Adam leaned in. Ronan’s eyes were still closed.  He didn’t want to hurt him.

 He kissed the bruise, as gently as he could, like a mother would try and kiss the pain away.  But there was something else behind the kiss too.  A little puff of air escaped through Ronan’s mouth.

“And there?”  Adam asked.

Ronan nodded.  “Yes.”  His voice was raspy and low.

That’s what pulled Adam out.  He’d hurt him.  Was hurting him?  Had always been hurting him?

He leaned away, felt the butterflies in his stomach turn to ash.

“I’m…I’m sorry.”  Adam said as he stood stiffly off the bed, and quickly put another four feet between them.

“I didn’t mean…I didn’t mean to."  Adam looked down at his shoes.  He could feel Ronan staring at him.  Could feel Ronan’s gaze pierce right through him.  He didn’t move though.  He just sat there staring, and Adam could feel himself getting angry.

“You should go to the hospital.  You should go.” He still didn’t look at Ronan.  But he heard a little wisp of an acidic laugh.  There was no humor in it.  Only resignation. 

“Got it.”  Ronan said.  “I’ll leave the note in the office.”

He stood up, and walked out the door without saying another word.

Adam deflated, all his useless anger leaving him. His whole body felt empty.  He peeled off his shirt, kicked down his pants, and crawled into bed.  He was so done, that when he pulled the sheet over his head, he kicked his books onto the floor, and wished for Cabeswater to take him away.  It obliged.

 

 

Ronan shoved the note under the office door, and stormed out into the night.  He kicked the back of the dresser as he passed it, and then wished he didn’t because now his toe was probably broken too.  Ronan furiously worked at the ropes to untie the dolly and the shoved the tangled mess into his trunk.  He needed a drink!  He needed a race!  He needed….Kavinsky’s party.   A small part of him hated that Kavinsky was probably going to be smug about his showing up, and part of him wondered why he felt the need to go at all.  But he knew why he was, he needed not to think about whatever the fuck just happened at St. Agnes with Adam.  Ronan had thought he felt Adam watching him all night, but he felt that was just his imagining it; it was dark.  Then Adam touched him, and while Ronan enjoyed that, he could explain that away too.  He was just checking on an injury.  But then…then.  He kissed him.  He didn’t imagine it.  He’d felt his lips, felt his nose tucked up against his ear.  Felt his breath on his neck. 

 _“WHAT THE FUCK!”_ Ronan yelled into the night.  He threw the car into a higher gear and raced all the way to Kavinsky’s.  He didn’t know what to think about any of that, so he wasn’t going to think about anything at all.

 

 

“Ey, Lynch!  Knew you’d show your pitiful face at some point.  Woah!  Your face got a little fucked there!  Three taking his shortcomings out on you?  Poor baby.  I got something that’ll make it all better.”

Ronan could see that Kavinsky was already out of his mind high, and for not the first time in his life, Ronan was jealous.  He usually liked his blackouts from something liquid and in a bottle but what Kavinsky held out to him was, of all things, a tiny purple pill.   Ronan stepped forward, and Kavinsky grabbed him by the loop of his pants, pulling forward with such force that his feet and head lagged behind a step.  Ronan looked Kavinsky in the eye, and noticed the glassy red around his pupils, nothing like the clever intensity of those he spent the earlier half of the evening with.  With clammy fingers, Kavinsky pulled down on Ronan’s chin and placed the pill on his tongue.

Ronan pushed Kavinsky away harshly, but swallowed the pill.

Kavinsky held both hands up in mock surrender.

“You got it!  You let me know when that kicks in.  You’ll be more sociable.”

Ronan fell where he stood, sitting himself up cross legged in the grass of the large field.

“Such a fucking prick.”  Kavinsky muttered as he walked away a couple yards away.  He stopped to glance back at Ronan again.

Ronan just gave him the middle finger, before falling back in the grass.

Kavinsky smiled, leaned against his Mitsubishi, and put an identical purple pill in his mouth.  He smiled once, before collapsing into the grass.

 

Ronan opened his eyes in Cabeswater.  He saw Kavinsky already there, arranging stones by a small stream.  That didn’t seem right.  He walked over to him, but realized quickly that it wasn’t K at all.  It was Adam, moving stones in a way that made no sense to Ronan.  He went to touch his hair, but his hand moved right through him.

“The Fuck?”  Ronan turned to see Kavinsky almost bent over with laughter.

“And here I thought it was III.  But oh no!”  He stopped laughing then.  “Always had to make things difficult for yourself, didn’t you Lynch.”

Ronan didn’t try to deny anything.  If Kavinsky was here, he'd know.  He just didn’t expect Adam to be here as well.  Kavinsky walked over to him then, and they both looked down at Adam. 

“What is he?  Some sort of ghost or something?  You won’t even dream him more lifelike for yourself.  God! Lynch.  Not even able to have some fucking fun in your dreams.  What a waste.”

Ronan didn’t know why he was dreaming of Adam this way.  He’s dreamt of him before, and in those dreams he was always more …. substantial.  But Kavinsky didn’t have to know that.

K leaned over Adam then, and Ronan had to force himself not to dive between them.  It wasn’t real Adam.  It wasn’t even a real dream Adam….this was some sort of mirage….or memory.

K leaned down, stuck out his tongue and placed it tidily in Adams ear.  Adam didn’t stop what he was doing.  It was like he was a pre-recording. 

Kavinsky laughed again, high pitched and drunkenly when he realized that his tongue went right through him.

“Aw Too bad Lynchy, we could have taken a peek at what Parrish really has going on under those second hand slacks.”

“Shut the Fuck up.  You don’t know anything about him.”

“But I know everything about you.  I even knew you’d be here tonight.  In fact, I got you something.”

Ronan raised an eyebrow, and then looked to the sky and the surrounding forest, expecting some sort of attack.

Kavinsky just let out an exacerbated sigh.  

“Not everyone’s as fucking violent as you Lynch.  Relax.  Here”

Kavinsky bent down to the river and fished out a stone.  He tossed it to Ronan who caught it reflexively.  It was a small smooth rock.  Ronan could hold it in the palm of his hand.  It felt warm, and as he looked down at it, it turned yellow.

“What is it?”  Ronan asked.  “A fucking Mood ring, that’s a rock?”

“Oh, you could say that.”  Kavinsky said smirking.  “But like I said….I _know_ you.”

Kavinsky all but slithered up to Ronan, who did not back up.  He wouldn’t let Kavinsky intimidate him.  Not here.  This was his place.  

“I think you want to give me a taste.” Kavinsky purred, grabbing Ronan’s jaw in his hand. Only his thumb grazed over the bruised part, but even here, he could feel the ache of it down to his bone and through his head. 

“What!” Ronan hissed, still holding the stone in his hand.

“I made that thing there Sugar daddy.  I handed it to you, and it turned yellow.  Could have only been one of five colors, but really, I was gunning for red or yellow.”

Kavinsky licked Ronan’s jaw.  A long slow lick that ended at his ear.  Ronan pulled away looking disgusted.

“Oh don’t give me that shit!"  Kavinsky mocked.  "Look at that shit in your hand.  It’s yellow!  What do you think that means?  I confuse you, but you’re curious.  You might hate me sometimes…but you want me others.  Don’t lie Lynch.  It looks bad on you.”

Ronan looked back to the rock in his hand.  He felt played. 

“Congratulations.” Ronan said, trying to gain the upper hand again by acting as disinterested as possible.  But really, why had he never thought to make one of these.  Damn that Russian!

“We’ve gotten fucked and raced enough…it was fleeting.  You’re not my type.”

For a moment, doubt flickered across Kavinsky’s face, but then, to make a point, he grabbed at Ronan crotch, cupping him, while staring into his eyes.  Ronan gasped, but then pulled away.

He said very slowly.  “I’m. Not. Interested.”

Kavinsky shrugged.  “Whatever helps you sleep at night princess.  Call me, when you’re done chasing after poor-little-straight-boy there.   I’m out.”

And Kavinsky disappeared.  Ronan stood there alone.  Feeling his skin cool where Kavinsky’s spit still clung to him.  Feeling heat pool where he had cupped him.  He sighed and looked over at Adam.  _Poor-little-straight-boy,_ Kavinsky had said.   Maybe he was right.

Ronan woke up still in the grass.  The party was now on the other side of the field.  He was cold and damp and a little hard, and hated himself for letting Kavinsky get to him.  Why was he even here?  He stood up, and felt the small weight nestled in his palm.  It was the stone.  He pocketed it and drove home. 

 

 

Walking into Monmouth manufacturing Ronan found that he was glad to see that Gansey was awake.  He sat in his bed pouring over old books, his wire frames perched low on his nose, like some sort of ancient librarian.  He looked up and frowned when he saw Ronan.

“Well, I’m glad you’re okay.  I called Adam, and he said you left hours ago.”

Ronan tired not to react to that bit of news.

 “I went out.”

“Where?”

“A party.”

“Kavinsky’s party?  I thought you didn’t want to go to that?”

“God, Dick?  Anymore questions tonight or can I take a shower without the third degree?”

Gansey just took his glasses off and rubbed at the bridge of his nose. 

“I’m just happy your home.”

Ronan wanted to scream that this wasn’t his home, but that would just hurt Gansey and he didn’t want that either. 

Ronan walked over to the bed.  “What are you working on?”

“Oh, you know…just going over some guides on proper anchoring techniques for cave exploration.”

“So, just some light reading then before bed?”

Gansey laughed a little then, and the sound made Ronan smile.   Then he remembered the weight in his pocket. 

“Hey, look at this.” He said, and handed the rock over to Gansey.  His heart raced imaging what color it would turn. 

Instantaneously the stone turned a vibrant green in Gansey palm.  It was a beautiful color. The color of the underside of leaves on a sunny day.   He looked up at Ronan, typical Gansey wonder etched all over his face. 

“How pretty.” He said.  “Is this one of your dreams things?”

“Sort of” Ronan replied and then pocketed it.

“We’re friends right?” he asked Gansey before he could stop himself.  He didn’t like this type of display of emotion, but he did love Gansey like a brother, and he needed to figure out what all the colors of this rock thing meant. 

“Brothers.”  Gansey repeated, smiling, like this was the conversation he’s wanted to have with Ronan for a lifetime.  “I love you like a brother.  Always.”

Ronan rubbed at the back of his neck and pocketed the stone again.

“Well. Fuck.”  Ronan nodded his head.  “Yeah…yup.  Yeah.”

He walked away and into the kitchen/bathroom/laundry to take a much needed shower.

As he lay in bed, Ronan cataloged the two colors he now knew. 

_Yellow – confusion over the other person_

_Green – Friendship of the highest order/ brotherhood._

But sleep did not come until the sun was already up.

 

 

Adam woke up early Saturday morning for work, and the first thing he wondered was if Ronan had made it back to Monmouth Maufacting safely.  If he didn’t it was Adam’s fault.  Now that the anger had worn off, he couldn’t remember why he’d even be angry.  If anyone had a right to be angry it was Ronan.  He’d hurt himself trying to do something nice for Adam, and then Adam had kissed him….

His stomach rolled.

 _Oh My God_.  I kissed him.  That invisible line, which we never crossed, was crossed last night.  _I kissed one of my best friends._  

Adam dropped his face in his hands.  He allowed himself a couple moments of guilt and shame and then forced himself out of bed to get dressed for work. 

The day went by slow.  He didn’t hear from any of his friends, and while that was not unusual, the silence worried him today.  He just kept thinking about the way Ronan’ jaw felt under his lips.  How his skin looked all raised with goose bumps from his touch.  His mind was a track that did nothing but circle around and around and around.  Several times he had to stop himself from thinking what would have happened if he had kept kissing Ronan.  He wanted to.  The admission, even to himself felt like being dunked in cold water.  He had really wanted to.  What if Ronan had kissed him back?  Would he have?  Part of Adam thinks that maybe he would have.  Then Adam could have touched him.  Felt his arms, his chest, and his prickly hair….. _STOP._

_Focus on your work.  Get lost in the work._

Eight hours passed this way, and when Adam finally got back his room at St Agnes he was surprised to find the dresser already in his room.  _Ronan._

His heart seized.  _Who did he have help him do this?  Did he hire someone?    You are such a piece of shit for treating him that way._

Adam scrubbed his hands over his face and went to his phone.  A landline that was included in his rent.

He called Gansey.  He picked up on the second ring.

“Hello Adam! Having a good Saturday?”

“Yes, thank you.  Is um, is Ronan there?”

Gansey paused for a second.  “Why, yes he is.  He just walked in.  Hold on a moment.”

“What?” Ronan’s voice was tart and clipped.

“Thank you.  For the dresser, I mean.  And about…err.  Actually, can we meet up?  At the Mennonite Market?”

“Just us.” Adam added quickly after, a whisper.

“Then why’d you call Gansey’s phone?”

“You never have yours on you.”

“Smart man.   Fine.  See you in an hour.”

“Okay.” Adam said, and then the line went dead.

 

As Adam pulled up to the market, he saw Ronan trying on army surplus masks that made him look even more terrifying.  Ronan turned when he heard the screeching sound of Adam’s car, a noise he’d yet to find the time to fix.

Ronan nodded at him.  Adam got out of the car, and had to force himself not to look at his shoes.  He walked up to Ronan who said:

“Hey, check out these empty grenades…What do people use these for?”

Adam just shrugged, hands in his pockets.

“Listen.  I’m sorry.  I was an ass.”

“Sorry for what?”  Ronan asked, but his back stiffened and he wouldn’t look at Adam.

“You know what, Lynch.   I don’t know why I acted that way.  I’m sorry.  It won’t happen again.”  _But I want it to._

Ronan just let out an annoyed “Pffft” sound.

“Your face looks worse.” Adam said after he realized that’s all he was going to get from Ronan.

“Gee…Thanks.”  Ronan said, venom lacing each elongated syllable.

Adam reached out and grabbed Ronan’s wrist.  He pulled him so he’d have to face him.  But when Ronan turned his eyes were too frightful to look at and Adam dropped his hands away from him. 

He didn’t know what he wanted to say, he hardly understood his own feelings.

“Thanks again though.  The dresser is a big help.  Thank you.”

“Yeah.  Got it.  You’re welcome.”

They both looked at the ground between their feet.  Adam looked up at Ronan just to see something briefly pass across his face.  But it was gone in a second.

“Hey, wanna see something?”

Adam was grateful for the change of subject, and pounced on the offering.

“Yeah sure, what is it?”

“Just this dream thing.” Ronan placed it gently into the palm of Adam’s outstretched hand.

The stone, laid there unchanging for a fraction of a second, while Ronan’s heart beat a terrible heavy rhythm.  Then, in the center of the stone there was a small dot, but the dot spread, like blood soaking into white cotton, the red grew more and more vibrant until the entirety of the stone was the deepest crimson.  They both look at it.

Ronan felt like this heart was going to explode from the joy of it.  He’d tried the stone on a couple people already, and had seen all four colors but the last one.  And he knew.  He _knew_ what it meant. 

Adam looked up at him, brows pulled tightly together. 

“Is that all it does?  It just…” But Adam couldn’t speak anymore.  Ronan was staring at him.  His breathing was uneven, and his eyes were wild, and his face was flushed almost as darkly as the stone.

Adam blushed too.  Ronan had never looked at him like this before.  The weight of his gaze was too much. 

 

Ronan wanted to kiss him.  He wanted to pull him into his car and drive away with him.  He almost did just that, but then remembered with a crash of reality  how Adam had reacted last night when he’d kissed him.  Hardly a kiss even, but it was enough to spike his anger, and not a moment ago.  _“It won’t happen again.”_

Adam wasn’t ready.  Not yet.  He may love Ronan back, but he was denying it, or outright fighting against it.  Ronan’s heart gave a little sputter at this.  _Why? What’s wrong with me?_

He grabbed the stone from Adam’s hand.  “Yeah man, that’s all.”  And started walking back to his car.

“Are you going?”

“You were late.  Got shit to do.”

Adam doubted that, but he also didn’t blame him.  Adam had put him in a bad spot.  He didn’t like being near himself either.

Ronan got in his car, and then, never truly able to leave Adam behind, he opens the door and stood up to speak over it.  “Nino’s tonight?”

“Yeah.  I’ll be there.”

Ronan sighed, _good_ , and drove home.

Adam watched him drive away.  He’d get to see him tonight.  _Good_.

 

 

 

Adam got to Nino’s early.  He was too restless and had nowhere else to go, so he figured he’d wait in the booth until his friends arrived.  But when he pulled in Ronan was already there, his BMW parked outside.  Adam prepared himself for being alone with Ronan again…even if it was just for a moment.  He would make this right.  Whatever it took, he would make it so they could be friends again without awkwardness.  He owed Ronan that at least. 

When Adam walked up to the booth, Ronan was pouring something from a flask into this ice tea.

“Nice, Lynch."  Adam said, glaring at him reproachfully. 

Ronan looked up.  “Want some?”  He wiggled his eyebrows at Adam, who then had to work from keeping a blush from showing up across his face.

Adam waved a hand at Ronan and took a seat across from him.  He poured himself a glass from a pitcher Blue must have left on the table. 

“I ordered three pies.  I’m fucking starved.”

“THREE?”  Adam repeated, shocked.

“Some of us did actual physical labor today Parrish, and I’m famished.”

So he moved the dresser himself then…with who else?  Adam still wasn’t sure.

“Hey!  I worked today.  Eight hours asshole.  And now a large part of that is going to your famished pizza order.”

“No it isn’t.” Ronan said voice impassive.  “I paid the bill already.  Tip and all.  You can deal with it like the rest of them.”

Adam set his drink down, and leaned back against the vinyl seat, letting the familiar feeling of discomfort wash over him.  He didn’t want to fight with Ronan, not today.  He wanted to make things better, not worse.  He closed his eyes, and ran his hands down his face.

“Are you fucking kidding me right now?  Are you like having a breakdown over a free pizza?”

Adam took a deep breath.  _Change the subject_ , he thought.

“No, I’m not.”  He took another sip of his iced tea.  Ronan took a long swig of his.

 

“So, tell me about that rock thing….what did you dream that for?  Why’d it turn red?  What’s that mean?”

Ronan stopped drinking mid sip.  He set his glass down, and looked everywhere but at Adam. 

Adam started to feel a little nervous. 

“Does it mean something?  Does red mean something?” 

Adam always was too good as fishing out people’s secrets.  He gave Ronan a second to answer.

Ronan went to speak but his voice got caught somewhere in his throat.  He coughed. Then spoke.

“Yeah, it means you have the hots for me.”  He was trying to sound joking, but Ronan Lynch never lied.

He took another long drink.

Adam laughed.  Ronan just looked at him, no humor in his face.

“No, really…”  Adam continued.  “What’s it do?  What’s it mean.”

“No, really.”  Ronan said, all traces of humor gone from his voice.  “It’s a stone that tells you how someone feels about you, and red means that you have the hots for me.  I’m sure there’s a better way to say that, but there it is.”

Adam felt his face heat.  Ronan thankfully looked away for a moment, giving Adam a second to compose himself.

He didn't speak for a long while and it was killing Ronan.

“Well?  Aren’t you going to deny it?" Ronan barked. Impatience lacing each word.  "I could just be lying.” 

“You don’t lie.” Adam responded.

“still….”

“Do you want me to deny it?”  Adam asked.  His heart was beating too fast.  Here is was, spilled out before them on the table.  Everything they'd been not saying this whole time.

Now it was Ronan’s turn to fall silent.

 

Adam didn’t know how they continued from here, so he asked:

“What other colors does it turn?  What do they mean?”  trying to recover from his embarrassment.

“Yellow means confusion over the person.  Unresolved feelings…it’s the color it turned when I handed it to Declan.”  Ronan left out that part that it turned that color when Kavinsky handed it to him.

“Blue means sadness, or pity.  I’m not 100% sure how pinpoint the feelings are on that one. Green is friendship.  Brotherly love.”

“Gansey?”  Adam asked, and Ronan just nodded.

“And black is hate.”

Adam briefly wondered who he could have handed it to that actually hated him, but then he realized that honestly, it could be any number of people.

“And red?”  Adam prompted.

“Red means love.”  Ronan said.  Then he realized what he was saying.  He flushed and looked down at his hands.

“I mean attraction…or just you know, casual interest maybe.  Like I said, it’s not all that precise.”

Adam just nodded.  “Love.” He whispered into his ice tea.

“I’m sorry I did that to you.”  Ronan said.  “I shouldn’t have.  I just really didn’t think that was going to happen.  I hoped for Green, or even yellow…no else turned red.  No one else….”

“Then how did you know what it means?”

“I dreamt about it.  If it works in the dream….you know.”

“Yeah I know.”

“Also, I let Gansey hand it to….” Ronan stopped as Adam’s eyes grew large.  “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.  I’m not blind.  Well, I guess I have been about us.”

“Us?”  Ronan asked.

“Do you have the stone now?”  Adam asked again ignoring him.  He reached his hands across the table.  Ronan handed it to him.  He took the stone in his hands, and just like last time they both watched the dark red color the stone from the center out. 

Adam looked at Ronan whose face was a mix of embarrassment, relief, and something else…

“Give me your hand.”  Adam said.  Then, “Will it work this way?”

Ronan nodded.  His heart beat wildly in his chest.  He knew what Adam was going to do.  He wanted to run. He ached for it.  He could've never said it, but now, they would know.  It would be understood.

Adam set the stone on the table and watched it turn back to a smooth pale grey.   Then he lifted the rock, and set it in Ronan’s hand. 

It didn’t turn red like it did for Adam - a slow burn, an ember slowly reaching out, to burn itself up.   No, it exploded red in Ronan’s hand.  It was as if there was a living heart inside the stone, and when Ronan touched it, its color burst, bleeding it's life onto the outside, coating every bit of itself in the deepest cherry, ruby, crimson, and maroon.  The reds melted into one solid color and the stone itself seemed to thrum with satisfaction.

Adam was shocked at the violence of the change. It was such an intense moment. His hands were shaking a little, and something tugged pleasantly in his belly.  He looked to Ronan who still stared at the stone dumbfounded.  Adam guessed he hadn’t expected that much of a reaction either.  He looked up to Adam then, embarrassment, pulling at his eyes, and then he let his head drop to the formica table top with a loud thwack.

“Ahh.”  Ronan twitched and then brought a hand up to hold his throbbing jaw.”

Adam took the stone from Ronan’s hand and put it on the table.  Then he placed his hand on the back of Ronan’s head.  He rubbed his fingers through the stubble of Ronan’s hair, and heard Ronan sigh in appreciation.

“Want to get out of here?”  Adam asked.  Voice husky.  It was a dare.  A "what the fuck's stopping us now?"

Ronan looked up at him.  Eyes surprised.  Disbelieving.

Adam just smiled back, his brows raised slightly, eyes full of suggestive sparkle.  He shrugged his shoulders.

Ronan grabbed the stone, put it in his pocket, and swiftly pulled himself out of the booth.

Adam followed him to the door on his heels.  He couldn’t stop smiling. They were doing this.

Excitedly Ronan turned around the front exit to make sure Adam was right behind him, and quite literally bumped into Gansey, stomping on one of his feet and scuffing his boat shoes.

“Fucking SHIT!” Ronan cursed, surprised.

“Nice to see you too Ronan.”  Gansey’s eyes took in both of them, Adam and Ronan, his two best friends.  He looked perplexed.

“Are you two going somewhere?  I thought we were all having dinner?”

“Something suddenly came up.”  Adam said, and couldn’t help but smile when he caught Ronan’s devilish smirk.

Gansey looked suspicious, but he wasn’t going to push the issue. 

Ronan knocked him on the shoulder.  “I already ordered and paid.  Dinners on me!  Tell Blue to join you!” 

Gansey wasn’t sure why Ronan and Adam were smiling like they had a secret no one else knew, but he decided to let them keep it, if just for tonight. 

Ronan made it out the door, but Adam paused and then strode back over to Gansey, dropping something in his hand. 

“Here - could you give these to Blue?" It was his car keys.  "Tell her she can borrow my car tonight to get home after her shift.  I don’t think I’ll need it.”

Adam glanced back outside to Ronan who was standing outside the BMW, leaning on its hood.  He couldn’t help feeling both lighter and heavier at the sight of him.  Everything about this was a contradiction.

Ronan’s smile widened.

“Adam…what’s going on?  Are you two okay?  Should I be worried?”

Adam just tapped him on the shoulder with his fist.

“Definitely.”

Then he was out the door.

 

 

 

Ronan drove.  He seemed pleased that Adam left his car.  Maybe he thought it meant something.  Maybe it did. He knew he didn’t want to be without Ronan for the rest of the night, and ditching his car seemed like a pretty solid way to stick together.  _Ronan loves you._   He thought.  He kept thinking it over and over again.  He kept looking at him too.  Ronan’s mouth would pull up at the corner every time he caught Adam in the act. 

“Stop staring at me Parrish.”

“You stare at me all the time!”  Adam retorted, and Ronan just laughed.

“Guess I’m not as stealthy as I thought.”

“Guess we’re both not a lot of things we thought.”  Adam had meant it to be a joke, but it came out heavy.

Ronan frowned and quickly pulled the car over to the side of the road.  The tires bumped over the dirt and slid slightly into a messy, bumpy stop, the car dipping a little to one side as the gravel and dirt gave way to grass.  The darkness of the highway closed in on them, and the giant trees loomed overhead. They were so alone. Ronan turned the car off and Adam’s pulse quickened.

“It doesn’t matter what the stone said you know.” Ronan looked straight ahead when he said this. Adam’s heart lurched.

“What?  Of course it does!”  Everything in his body tensed for an argument.

“No. Adam. What I mean is that - just because it turned red, it doesn’t…it doesn’t mean you owe me anything.  Like we don’t have to suddenly change our relationship in any way; not if you don’t want to.  If you’re not ready.”

Adam thought about this.  He looked out at the dark trees and thought about his relationship with Ronan.  It seemed silly to him now that they didn’t get to this place sooner.  Sure, maybe it would be less complicated if they pretended none of this ever happened and that they were just friends, but that felt like a lie.  It was a lie. They were so much more than that.  Less complicated or not, he wanted to see this through.  His body was practically begging for it.  He looked back to Ronan who was watching him carefully, eyes grim.

“In which scenario can I kiss you again?” Adam asked, as casual as if he was asking for a refill on his iced tea.

Ronan’s smile grew steadily until he looked as if his face was being taken over by it.  It changed the whole look of him.  He could almost pass as innocent with that smile.  Almost.

“Any one.  Every one.”  Ronan answered.

Adam undid his seat belt, and Ronan felt the click of the latch like a kick to his heart.  Instinctively he leaned back.  He wasn’t sure Adam had any idea, just how intimidating he could be.  It was in the eyes.  Pure determination.  Ronan would never bet against Adam getting what he wanted, and now, amazingly, it seemed like he wanted him.  It was almost too much.

Adam was turned in his seat one knee down so he could push himself over to Ronan.  He went to grab him, but then hesitated for a moment.  There was still a thread of uncertainty in him.  This was definitely the last line they would cross before their old friendship would be effectively ruined.  He looked at Ronan now.  His eyes asking _Is this okay?_

Ronan put his hand on Adam's chest, a feather-light message telling him  _yes_ and _hurry._    Ronan had waited so long; he didn’t think he could stand another second. 

With one hand Adam pushed himself up on the center divider, and with the other he grabbed the back of Ronan’s neck, pulling him the rest of the way forward to crush his lips.  It was not a sweet or tender kiss.  They were both too impatient for tender.  Both too needy for sweetness.  But that was the glory of their relationship.  They didn’t need to explain themselves.  It was just understood. 

Adam made sure to avoid Ronan’s bruised jaw, and Ronan made sure to dip his tongue into Adam’s mouth.  Adam sighed against it, his arms going weak from the feel of it, hot and wet, and almost fell into Ronan’s lap.

Ronan pushed his seat back as far as it would go, and pulled Adam on top of him with both hands.  It was not comfortable by any means but as long as they were touching and kissing and grabbing nothing else mattered.  Adam shifted in his lap and Ronan groaned.  It was not a pleasurable one because Ronan retched back and curled over a bit towards the door.

“Oops.  Uh, I’m sorry, it’s cramped in here.” Adam said as an apology as soon as he realized he'd just kneed Ronan in the crotch.  “Are you okay?”

Ronan’s voice was scratchy but he managed to let out a meager “Yeah, sure.”

Adam kissed him again to try to take his mind off it, and then had a better idea.  He reached his hand down and rubbed it between Ronan’s legs.  He felt weak again with the thrill of it.  Ronan was so warm and hard against his hand.  Oh My God.  Is this what he'd been missing?  No wonder this was all anyone at school ever talked about.  

“FUCK…Adam.”  Ronan hissed.  But he kissed Adam harder.

Ronan’s arms raced over Adam’s back and neck, and Adam did whatever he could think of to make Ronan just feel good.  He thought about his poor jaw, an injury from helping him, the bruises and cuts he’d had after his fight with his father, and even now he felt bad for kneeing him, but he’d make it up to him.  Ronan groaned louder, but this time from pleasure.  Adam kissed Ronan deeper, relishing in the taste of his skin and lips.  "Oh my God. Ronan. _"_ He squeaked before he could stop himself.  Ronan whimpered at the sound of his name on Adam’s lips, and Adam’s desperation grew to an intensity he’d never felt before.  How would he ever be able to stand it?  His mind was a frenzy of want, and any other thoughts were lost except _Ronan, Ronan, Ronan._

Adam reached for Ronan’s belt and started to pull.  Ronan froze. 

“Adam, oh god….wait.”

Adam kissed him harder, breathed hot into his mouth.  “Why?”

He was too far gone.  He never wanted to stop.

“Not here.  Let’s go somewhere else.”

Adam released him and then leaned back a little.

“Are you sure?”  Adam was confused, his brain was screaming for me, his breath came out heavy in heaving pants.

“Yeah. I mean, no!  But... Shit!”  Ronan looked just as wrecked.

Adam took a steadying breath, trying to slow his pulse and keep his heart inside his chest.  He didn’t want to push.

“What do you want to do?” he asked.

Ronan rubbed his head and looked away from Adam.

“I just…I’ve wanted this for a long time, okay?  And…and I just don’t think I want it to be over this fast on the side of the road, with the steering wheel at your back.”

Adam couldn't help but smile.  “I thought you loved cars?”  he teased.

“YEAH! it’s fucking sexy as hell!”  Ronan shouted, and then steadied himself enough to continue.  “But…not the first time we really get anywhere…I mean is this going somewhere?  Sorry…it just felt like….”

“No, you’re right.  _I’m_ sorry.  I got carried away.”

“I _love_ Adam Parrish carried away.”  Ronan purred, nipping at Adam’s ear and Adam couldn't help how the way he shamelessly leaned into it.  He realized now that the haze of lust was starting to wear off, that his erection was very firmly pressed into Ronan’s stomach, which embarrassed him enough to have him shift awkwardly back into this seat.  Ronan push his own seat back into place and started the car.

“You know, I don’t have a roommate.”  Adam said, pointedly looking straight ahead and achieving a level of coolness that was the opposite of his rioting insides.  

Ronan pulled back onto the road, and said:

“You know Parrish; I think I do recall that.”  As he shifted into second gear, Adam placed his hand over his.  “St. Agnes it is then…you know in a way…that’s kinda fucked up.”

Adam laughed.  “No.  In a way it’s perfect.”

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> What I imaged the stone colors represented
> 
> Red=love/passion  
> Yellow=confusion/ mistrust  
> Blue=sadness/pity  
> Green=friendship/platonic love  
> Black=hate


End file.
